The original comment.

The artistic interpretation.

Aw, it’s so cute – who knew that a ridiculously prized and overpriced luxury item, fetishized in song and print, would be capable of such adorable devotion? This particular item is one of my most fervent admirers. I believe I helped it with a college thesis!

This person does spam illustrations too, but he works mainly in the medium of email subject lines. I love these. Can’t you just picture them in embroidery?

This is a comment I’ve received five times so far, each one shilling different stuff I won’t describe in this here highly Googleable text. (Please to be clicking these – they’re on the wide side and I reduced them a little in this here post so that my site’s layout wouldn’t get all pissed.)

The original comment.

The artistic interpretation.

I’m currently at a coffee shop (very Seattle, no?). I just finished eviscerating my existing script for Furlough three and four. I was afraid I’d read it and go, “Yeah, that’s fine,” and just limply draw it, because I’ve been looking at it for so long. But no, I have new ideas and strong feelings about things and several new scenes to write. Every page has something on it, and some of them are buried pretty deep under my scrawl. The back page has a bulleted list of things I need to do or keep in mind.

I’d meant to wait a bit, maybe a month, to let my field lay fallow for a bit before I got back into this big project of mine, but… I don’t want to. I want to keep going, I want to get it done. I’m in a time of pretty damn major transition in my life right now, and I think this is just about the most reassuring thing I can imagine experiencing right now.

I feel like there’s a belief that an artistic person does better if they have a less artistic person as a partner. (Unless you’re an Oscar-winning actress, but that’s a whole other bucket of poop.) The symbiotic relationship usually works out to artist and support, where the support can be a nice person who likes to make dinner, a schlep as a comics sherpa, or be a quiet editor. This other person may be incredibly skilled too, but they’re comfortable to let their more prolific mate get the attention.

With that in mind, it’s always interesting to encounter a couple where both have awesome things going on. I’m thinking about this right now because I bumped into Kelly Froh last night at a ZAPP benefit. I was sadly not talkative, as I was beat as a clean rug, but I did at least have the energy to hold my heavy head up while watching her and her husband, Max Clotfelter, present and read a series of intertwining comics about their teenage years. (Verdict: awkward, funny.)

I got to table next to them at Olympia, and we’ve crossed paths a bit before then. I traded some comics with Kelly and I’m just now digging into them. I take a while to read things; this is actually exceptionally speedy to me. Immediately to the left of where I’m currently sitting is a grocery bag full of comics that date to APE from last fall. Bad habit.

ANYWAY. Look what was in my pile! Just look!

This is quite possibly the best way I’ve ever seen two people deal with an ongoing discussion/debate. It’s about how Max and Kelly have been debating a dog. They present their own thoughts on it and then go on to give you all these hilariously weird drawings of wiener dogs, complete with possible names. “Breanne, why do you not give us an example of these?” Because I don’t want to take away even a tiny bit of the fun of seeing it for your damn self, that’s why.

Corgis are my wiener dog. Also short-legged, also tenacious in the face of getting the short end of the breeding stick. My long-term goal is to be like the queen and just have a flock of them galloping around my ankles. I believe I shall say that the next time the deathly words “five-year plan” are uttered in my presence.

So yeah, talented couples. The fun thing is that I haven’t read a lot by either of them just yet, so I have more delightful things waiting for me.

Yesterday, I added the title “guest speaker” to my resume (if a ten-minute gig can indeed add something to your resume. I say yes). I stopped by the Sequential Art: History and Criticism of Comic Books and Graphic Novels class, taught by Leonard Rifas (two links there because I couldn’t find just one that had any real complete information). It was finals time, so I got to see presentations on Jim Davis, abstract comics, a comic depicting tidal pool life in the Pacific Northwest, and the perils comic marketing. This last one was presented in comic form and included the line, “Being a comic writer is about being the coolest person you can be… but you’ll also be a broke loser!” I went next and introduced myself by saying that I am, at the very least, not a loser. Cue pregnant pause.

I drew this during class. You can see drawings from the previous two pages through the paper. Normally I’d Level that kind of thing out, but you can see the anemones I started out with that brought me to this particular drawing. I miss drawing in class – drawing at work is fun but not quite as pleasurable for some reason.

Also, my cartoonist group is doing a series of profiles of members. I got to be first.

Other things I am up to lately: contemplating work for anthologies, trying to get through my enormous pile of library books, looking at job prospects, and laughing at people complaining about Seattle summer not being here yet. I’m also getting my first reactions to Furlough two, which are generally encouraging, especially because I’m in that afterglow of finishing where I’m plotting all the ways in which I’ll make issue three even better. And I’m pleased as punch with issue two, so it’s a very nice place to be.

I met a new friend today, and told her about my cartooning and my art and all. She entered my name in the address bar of her browser, and it… automatically completed my name. “Breanne Boland” was the third suggestion by just entering “Breanne.” When I enter it into Google now, it’s number two.

Google is good? I don’t know what it is, but I like it.

Tomorrow: more spam. Good night, everyone.

The original comment.

The artistic interpretation.

I had to do a little Google image search for this one, which I’m proud of for some reason. My bag of choice is made out of recycled bike tire tubes and seat belt strap.

There is indeed another site that’s done something similar before, and it is hilarious and utterly worth looking at. (Give yourself some time, there’s a lot, even if it hasn’t been updated in years.) It is called… Spamusement.

I’ve waded through my 544 spam comments and filtered out the interesting ones (aka the ones that are not lists of word salad links or prescription drug names). If life gives you spam, make… spamanade? Spamwiches? Right.

The original comment.

The artistic interpretation

I’ve actually seen electronic cigarettes in action (my friend Jinny has used one, and it helped her quit regular smoking entirely). It doesn’t matter. I still think they’re hilarious.

I picked it up on Friday, debuted it at the Olympia Comics Festival on Saturday, and now I’m properly putting it out into the world.

Behold!

I updated the Complete Works of Breanne Boland accordingly. Oh yeah.

And now, a preview of what’s inside this new issue of mine.
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Here is the state of things.

Furlough two is finished. This is the front cover:

I pick them up tomorrow. Whew/woo. It was a long weekend of arting, and I am very excited to hold the thing in my hands. And also to sell it to you at the Olympia Comics Festival, which is where I will be this Saturday, June 5. I’ll be putting the comic on my Etsy this coming Monday. Announcement to follow because that is, well, what I do here, among other things.

I went to my cartoonist meeting last night (yay), and among pages and pages of highly random sketches, I made this:

I’ve had the good fortune lately of seeing people and thinking, “OH, I MUST DRAW THEM.” I thought about it, and I think maybe this hair… arrangement… is to keep one’s carefully straightened hair from getting all fuzzy and hinky while you’re sprinting on the treadmill? Maybe? At any rate, I’m glad I’m happily curly-haired and somewhat apathetic about this area of the girlish arts.

I’m in that stressed-out mood that turns to something resembling anger, which makes me want to do nothing more than be unpleasant, kick things pointlessly, and have a few nice vodka-based drinks. Generally, this mood only comes about when I’m doing something I really care about, so I’m trying to frame it in those terms.

I am very close to finishing Furlough two. I’ve scanned and polished each page; what remains is to letter (gah) with a stylus (GAH) and then to do the things I consider simpler, like drawing and painting covers, laying out the whole thing, and drawing page 36. I think it’s going to be a tradition with me that, if i can help it, the last page of a given book will be a bullshit strip, which I will do only once almost everything else is done. When you’re doing something very long that requires a great deal of stamina, you can lose sight of the satisfaction of finishing something quickly. Writing and penciling and inking one page in one long session can set that to rights.

Now, to pictures.
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